Fun With Droids
by JasonMyersX
Summary: When Kyle accidentally leaves his droid phone at Stan's house, Kenny and Stan decide to use it to play a prank on Cartman by sending him provacative text messages. Now Cartman has to struggle with his true feelings for Kyle once and for all. T for now, M later.
1. The Text Messages

Kenny McCormick took a swig out of the ice cold Pepsi that was sitting in his hand as he glanced over at his best friend Stan Marsh, who was draped over his bed in a relaxed position.

It was a typical Saturday night in late November in the quiet mountain of South Park Colorado. Sheets of bright white snow covered the roofs of houses and other buildings, almost making the town look like something out of a corny fairytale story.

The duo of eighteen year old males were huddled in Stan's room, engrossed in a millionth rerun of Terrance and Philip: Asses of fire 3.

Kenny was spending the night at Stan's and the two teens had spent the last several hours just chilling out and watching television, which was any red blooded teenage male's ideal way to spend a Saturday night. Except for say, getting laid of course.

By the time Asses of Fire 3 ended it was around midnight, and the rest of Stan's family was in bed with the exclusion of Shelley, who was out with her boyfriend, most likely getting nailed, although Stan flipped out whenever his blonde haired friend stated that likelihood.

The raven haired boy shut the television off and yawned. "It's getting late dude, what do you want to do now?" He queried Kenny, who had his hood down, revealing his blonde hair and bright blue eyes that were very rarely ever put on display.

"Isn't this Kyle's phone?" Kenny asked picking up a red droid off of the dresser.

"Yeah, he left it here yesterday when we hung out. I still have to give it to him." Stan explained. Kenny smirked and already a shiver ran down Stan's spine, knowing that the blonde's mischievous grin could only mean bad news.

"Kenny, what are you thinking?"

The other boy's eyes lit up. "We should totally send fake texts to Cartman, he'll think that it's Kyle."

Stan grimaced. "No way Kenny, it's late and I'm not in the mood to deal with that fatass." Kenny's smug smirk only grew. "Relax, we're just going to text him, it's not like we have to hear his voice. Come on it will be funny, and there's nothing else to do anyway."

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed in defeat. "Alright fine, but make it quick."

Kenny scrolled down the list of names in Kyle's phone and went down to F, where Cartman was filed under "fatass". The blonde chuckled and sent a message that read: **Hey Cartman, what's up?**

"You think he's still awake?" Stan asked. "Fuck yeah, Cartman usually stays up half the night, why do you think he gets up so late?"

Meanwhile at Cartman's house, the brown haired male sat on his couch in the living room, eyes glued to a documentary about a Neo Nazi gang in a local prison.

"God these guys are so bad ass." Cartman proclaimed to himself, shoving handfuls of popcorn into his pudgy mouth.

Several bags of cheesy poofs were scattered across his red jacket, and about a dozen soda cans were strewn throughout the room.

He felt his phone vibrate and his eyes bulged when he found it was Kyle texting him. "What the hell does the Jew want? Cartman muttered angrily under his breath, snatching the phone into his chubby hands and reading the message that was sent to him.

Upon reading it he grumbled in annoyance and typed a response back.

**Leave me alone Jew boy, I'm busy.**

Kenny snickered at the response. Typical reply for Cartman. "Kenny, what do you plan on doing?" Stan asked curiously.

"Oh, you'll see, it'll be priceless." He replied, typing another response to Eric.

Cartman felt his phone vibrate once again and when he saw it, his eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets, it read:

**Cartman, I just wanted to tell you that I'm madly in love with you.**

"Dude, this has to be a fucking joke. Kyle probably thinks he's really funny." He snarled, typing back immediately.

**Nice try Jew, please fuck off.**

Stan also read the reply this time and groaned. "Kenny, this is a waste of time, just stop."

"No way Stan, this will get good, trust me." He responded, laughing as he sent the new message.

**Cartman, I just wanted to tell you that I find you very sexy. **No matter how much he tried to act repulsed and disgusted, against his own will Cartman's cheeks flushed a very light pink. It was hard to see, but it was there.

"Goddamnit, I've had enough of this crap!" He shouted, angrily texting a reply.

**Kyle, If you don't stop texting me I will rip your nuts off.**

Kenny read the reply, and laughed heartily, knowing what Cartman's one major weakness was. The reason why Cartman loved harassing Kyle was due to the fact that almost all of the time, Kyle would respond to his insults with anger. However, if Kyle ignored the insults and was kind and polite to Cartman, that would drive the brunette crazy.

Kenny sent yet another, and Stan was growing impatient at this point.

Cartman gritted his teeth and looked like he wanted to kill someone upon feeling his phone vibrate.

**Why are you being so mean to me Cartman? I love you.**

Enraged, Cartman's fat digits moved at the speed of light, desperately trying to put the redhead in his place.

**Well guess what? I hate you! So stop fucking texting me!**

"Kenny, just give up, this is pointless!" Stan shouted, losing his patience. "No way Stan, I got this, just give me time."

The blonde typed out and sent a new message.

**I want to make love to you so bad, Cartman.**

Cartman's jaw dropped and he couldn't believe what his eyes were seeing. His anger was now being replaced with disbelief.

**Sick! That's fucking gross dude, I'm not gay. But I should have known you were a fag. **Cartman smirked and giggled to himself, as if he had just made the best comeback in history or something.

Unfortunately for him, Kenny was two steps ahead and he quickly typed back a reply.

**Yep, I always have been. I love men.**

Cartman was stunned, he could hardly register what he was reading.

**WHAT? Are you being seriously? **Both Kenny and Stan were laughing at this point, getting great amusement from Cartman's reaction.

Kenny continued to laugh his ass off as he sent another text message to the brunette.

**I'm being totally seriously, honey. I love cock and male ass.**

Upon reading the new text, Cartman was becoming confused and flustered. His heart beat also seemed to increase, and he felt as if he were sweating. He typed back as quickly as he could, licking his upper lip.

**Holy shit, sick. Do your parents know? Your uptight Jew bitch mom is probably pissed.**

Tears started to roll down Stan and Kenny's faces, in fact Stan was worried that they would wake up his parents with how hard they were laughing. Kenny sent yet another message, laughing hysterically as he typed it out.

**Yeah they already know I love taking it up the ass.**

Cartman's cheeks grew a darker shade of pink at the vulgarity of the messages. He was still in a state of awe that Kyle would be saying such things.

**Christ, too much information. Did you tell Stan and Kenny this?**

"Oh shit Stan, now he brought us up, what should I say?" Kenny asked, wiping tears from his eyes. "Just tell him that we're okay with it." Stan replied, his throat becoming hoarse from laughing so hard and so much.

**Yeah, they already know, they're cool with it.**

Cartman shook his head a few times, he felt as if he were dreaming, the situation was so surreal. Nevertheless, he managed to punch in another message.

**Wow, I can't believe this, this is so fucked up.**

Kenny and Stan simultaneously howled with laughter, they laughed so hard it began to physically hurt.

"Jesus, who knew messing with Cartman would be so much fun?" Stan exclaimed, grasping his chest as if for dear life.

"I told you Stan" Kenny said in between peals of wild laughter, "this would totally pay off." Kenny typed out yet another text, and it seemed with each one he typed, he began to send them out faster and faster.

**Believe it sweetheart. I love you so much, I want you to take me Cartman, I want your cock inside of me.**

"Shit Kenny, that's so perverted!" Stan shrieked in amusement. "I know Stan, that's the point."

Stan took off his hat and ran a hand through his wavy black hair. "Fuck, I would pay money to see Cartman's face right now." Stan said, a grin just as big as Kenny's now adorning his face.

Cartman's face was red at this point and he started to feel a fluttering sensation in his chest. He both loved and despised the feeling at the same time. The brown haired male's dick was also beginning to harden as much as he didn't want it to. "Come on Eric, get a grip on yourself, you're not a faggot, you love women!"

"_No you don't." _A tiny child like voice teased. Hovering above him was Cupid Me, giggling with hearts flying around his head.

Cartman glared at him. "Fuck off Cupid Me!" He hissed, flipping him the bird. He then sent another message.

**Ewwwwwww. I love pussy, not dick. Keep dreaming.**

"He is SO in denial." Kenny giggled. "Yeah, I know right?" Stan laughed as the blonde eagerly responded to the obese teenager.

**You don't even like my dick? :( **

Cartman tried to ignore his Cupid self and his groin which was promptly filling with warm blood as he typed a new statement.

**Fuck no Kyle, that's nasty. Besides I hate you.**

"Yep, definitely in denial." Kenny teased, as Stan's heavy laughter failed to subside.

**But I love you Eric, please love me back.**

"Awwwww, Kyle is so cute and adorable Eric, how could you be so cruel to a gorgeous hunk of man like that?" Cupid Me said giggling like a naughty school girl.

"That's it!" The fat boy yelled, getting up off the couch and retrieving a kitchen knife from one of the kitchen drawers. Cupid Me gasped in horror and Cartman impaled Cupid Me with it, sending him falling to the ground.

"Go to hell!" He shouted at the corpse. Cartman was tempted to call Kyle, but he didn't know if he could deal with having to listen to that sultry, slutty voice that he had in his head. He would probably cum in his pants if he heard it.

**Do you have feelings for Stan or Kenny? **Kenny's bright blue eyes lit up. "Oh, I think little Eric here is jealous." Kenny said in a sing song voice. "Oh man, this is too good." Stan replied, loving every moment of the situation. "I don't want to break Eric's heart…. Yet." Kenny laughed as he typed his response and hit the send button.

**Oh no, I only have eyes for you babe. I want you so bad.**

The brown eyed boy's heart felt as if it were going to explode any second. Just then, Cupid Me rose back up and was as cheerful as ever. "Sorry, Eric but as hard as you try, you can't kill me, after all, I'm just a schizophrenic illusion brought on by the fact that you have a fucked up conscience." Cupid Me chuckled.

"Please, go away…." Cartman practically begged. He hadn't felt this emotionally week since his mom brought in that cunt Cesar Millan for his baby sitter.

"I'll make a deal with you silly willy, I'll go away for awhile but only if you admit that you have feelings for Kyle."

Cartman looked appalled. "No way, he's a filthy goody good Jew rat, I'd rather stick my dick into a blender than into him." He snarled.

Cupid Me only continued to giggle, the eerie smile never leaving his face. "Come on Eric, I know you love him, after all, I'm part of your conscience, teehee."

"Goddamnit, I said no!" Cartman whined, sounding like his ten year old self again, rather than eighteen.

Liane's voice sounded from upstairs. "Eric, sweetie, is everything okay down there?" She asked calmly.

"Fine mom!" Cartman called back up to her as if the whole ordeal never happened.

"Fine Eric, if you don't admit you're true feelings for him, I'll just sing. "Oh Kyle, how I want to hold you in my arms and kiss you…"

"Alright fine!" Cartman yelled, waving Cupid Me away. The brunette literally had to force himself to type the following message.

**Okay, I still love chicks but you interest me now. **"Dude, what the fuck does that mean?" Kenny laughed, practically shoving the phone into Stan's face so he could also see it. "I have no clue, but respond to him quickly though before he catches on."

**Ooooooh how so sexy?**

Cartman groaned, for some reason nearly feeling humiliated at this point. He gulped as his pudgy fingers once more walked across the small keypad of the phone.

**Well, believe it or not no one has ever really had romantic feelings for me.**

"Gee, I wonder why, maybe because you're a fat, egotistical, narcissistic, anti -Semitic, sexist, loud mouth bigot." Kenny exclaimed as he read the comment.

"I almost feel bad for Kyle, what if Cartman tries to molest him or something?" Stan laughed, face bright red and coated with tears.

Kenny ignored the comment so he could type his response, as he was beginning to become tired, as was Stan, who yawned loudly.

**That's all about to change soon, sugar.**

Cartman licked his lips, they were becoming dry for some stupid reason…

**My god this is a lot to take in.**

More shrieks of laughter escaped the blonde's gut, and Kenny and Stan both knew they would be laughing about this for the next couple days.

**I'm touching myself to pictures of you right now Cartman ;)**

Upon seeing this message, Cartman's penis bulged and was seriously trying to split his pants. He imagined Kyle's forest green eyes lidded with lust. He imagined Kyle's body lied across his bed, spread eagle. Eric fantasized about Kyle's hand working his hot cock, fingers teasing his tight, puckered entrance as he moaned his name. "Oh Cartman!" "Oh, please be gentle!"

Cartman literally had to battle with himself not to reach into his boxers and stroke himself to climax right there.

**Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm kind of turned on right now.** When Kenny's eyes saw the words on the screen of the droid, now the sole light illuminating Stan's, dark black room, his bowls almost released. "No. Fucking. WAY." Kenny exclaimed, his head spinning.

Stan's eyes were as wide as dinner plates, he couldn't believe what he was seeing. "He's actually hot for Kyle?" That explains a lot."

"This is so fucked up, I need to rest." Kenny moaned quickly typing: **I know, so am I Eric.**

**Are you doing anything tomorrow, Kyle? **The new message popped up nearly a split second later.

"This is so fucking nasty!" Kenny said, making a face.**  
Mhmhmh no, why do you ask?**

**You want to come over? Maybe play a few…. Games? :) **Stan also read the message this time and both of them had to try with all their might to keep their lunch up. Kenny typed in the last message for the night and both boys went to sleep a few minutes later, their minds filled with the events of the past hour and a half.

**Sure thing love, just call me on my house phone first thing tomorrow morning. Goodnight, sweetie, I'll be thinking of you all night. XOXOXOXOXO**

Cartman sighed in relief, pulling his pants and underwear down and grasping his dick in his hand. He only had to stroke the lubed up shaft a few times before he began cumming and screaming, white semen pumping onto the living room floor.

"Tomorrow is going to be so sweet." Cartman grinned to himself, wiping up his load and heading upstairs for a cold shower.

* * *

The following morning Kenny slowly climbed out of bed and realized Cartman had sent him a message about an hour after they had went to bed for the night. It read:  
**My cock is so hard thinking about tomorrow, can't wait.**

"Ughghghg, what have I gotten myself into?" Kenny groaned, placing his face into his hands.

Kyle Broflovski awoke slowly as he peeled his blue comforter off of his lithe frame and headed into the bathroom, urinating and then brushing his teeth.

Once he had finished flossing and gargling his mother was calling him.

"Bubela, telephone!" She yelled. Kyle rubbed sleep from his eyes and ran a comb gently through his vibrant red curls before heading down the stairs.

"Who is it?" he asked, his voice still soaked with sleep. "It's that Eric Cartman boy."

Kyle snapped to full attention, he was definitely awake now. This could only be bad. The redhead closed his eyes in frustration and braced himself as he picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey babe, you still remember our conversation from last night?" Cartman asked in the most sultry, husky voice he could manage.

Kyle nearly dropped the phone. "What the fuck are you talking about?" He snapped. For the first time in his life, Cartman felt hurt. It was without a doubt a new feeling for him, and it felt is if a razor sliced open his heart. Of couse, being Eric Cartman, he couldn't let his true feelings be revealed.

"What do you mean? Don't you remember all the dirty things you said to me last night you slutty Jew?"

Kyle's green eyes were flashing with rage now. "I didn't even talk to you last night, so if this is some kind of a joke, I don't find it funny, fuck off." Click. With that, he hung up.

Cartman stood in his kitchen, paralyzed with shock.

"What the fuck just happened?" He asked himself, ready to snap someone's neck.

Liane walked up to him.

"Eric sweetie, aren't you going to eat your pancakes?" "Not now Mom, I'm going over to Stan's I have to talk to him about something." Cartman huffed.

"But Eric-"

Before his mother could finished the sentence, the brown eyed teen was out the door. A few minutes later he arrived at Stan's house and knocked on the door.

He was greeted by the sight of Sharon Marsh, who was still in her white silky pajamas.

"Is Stan home?"

Sharon smiled warmly at him. "No Eric, he told me that Kenny and him were going over to Kyle's house, apparently Kyle left his phone here a couple days ago."

Cartman felt as if the world were exploding around him as the awfulness of what had happened finally dawned on him.

"That fucking sonofabitch!" Cartman shouted at the top of his lungs, sounding like a madman as he dashed to Kyle's house.

**To Be Continued...**

_This story is either going to be two chapters or three, I haven't decided yet. I'll post the next chapter though when this one gets some reviews. Please review or else the dog gets it! (Puts gun to dog's head). Constructive criticism is welcome, but please no flames. Thanks._


	2. Phone Sex

**First off, I want to start by giving a HUGE thanks to all the people who reviewed the previous chapter, wow, you're all so appreciated! Anyway, like I say, review and you shall recieve. A warning though, things do get steamy later in this chapter, you have been warned! lol**

**Chapter 2**

Stan knocked on Kyle's front door a few times, with Kenny standing right beside him. Kyle answered the door around a minute later, also still clad in his pajamas.

"Dude, here's your droid that you left at my place." Stan said, handing the red phone over to Kyle as if he had been holding anthrax.

Kenny accidentally let out a giggle and Stan immediately shot him a death glare.

The redhead looked at the phone for a second and then to Stan, making a face. "I got a really weird phone call from Cartman earlier, and on the phone it sounded like he was trying to fucking seduce me or something." Kyle explained, a disgusted look now taking over his handsome face.

"Oh shit." Kenny mumbled from underneath his orange hood, which he was wearing again. Although the words were muffled, the two other boys heard them anyway.

Stan of course looked angry and nervous while Kyle looked confused and somewhat suspicious. "Shut up!" Stan snapped suddenly at Kenny, seeming to forget that Kyle was standing right in front of him.

"Guys, what's going on? Is there something you're not telling me?" The Jewish teen asked inquisitively, raising a red eyebrow.

Before the other boy could say a word, Cartman came running (well, as fast as a morbidly obese teen could run anyway) up to the front door, huffing and puffing in exhaustion.

"You… fucking….bastards…" He said venomously in between catching his breath. "Cartman? What the hell is your fat ass doing here?" Kyle asked curtly, frowning.

The brunette ignored him however and shoved a fat accusing finger into Stan's face, and then into Kenny's.

"I'm going to fucking murder the two of you!" He snarled, clenching his fists. "Can somebody please tell me what is going on!? Kyle shouted, finally losing his patience.

Stan opened his mouth but of course Cartman interrupted. "Hippie and poor boy here thought that it would be oh so hilarious to send fake text messages to me, using your droid." He yelled, his chocolate brown eyes filled with noting but resentment.

"What do you mean fake texts?" Kyle asked, narrowing his eyes at Stan and Kenny, and he felt anger starting to grow inside of him.

Stan bit his lower lip and began rubbing the back of his head nervously, while Kenny tried but failed to avert his gaze from the Jew's piercing green eyes. Cartman's cheeks were flushed again and he literally was choking on the words he was trying to say, but eventually he managed to spit them out.

"They pretended to be you, and sent me faggy, homoerotic messages." Eric explained, closing his eyes and physically shaking with anger and embarrassment.

Now it was Kyle's turn to blush, and since the teen's skin was much paler than Cartman's, it was way easier to spot.

"You what!?" Kyle sputtered at Stan, his face now red and contorted. The raven haired teen panicked and desperately tried to save face. "It was Kenny's idea, I swear!"

"Oh that's great dude, blame it all on me." He mumbled from underneath the orange hood.

"It was YOUR idea!" Stan snapped back. "I don't give a fuck who's idea it was, I'm going to kick both of your asses!" Cartman threatened nastily.

"All of you just shut up for a second!" Kyle shrieked. Everyone became silent instantly. "Okay, the two of you pretended to be me and sent prank messages to Cartman, but that still doesn't explain why he called me this morning sounding like some bitch on a phone sex hotline."

It it were possible, everyone became even quieter. Cars seemed to cease moving, and time itself appeared to stop.

Stan was the one who broke the deafening silence. "I'm out of here dude." "Yeah, me too." Kenny quickly piped up as they began to walk away.

"Ay! Where are you two assholes going?" Cartman screamed. He attempted to chase after them although he was prevented from doing so when he felt Kyle roughly grab his shoulder and spin him around so they could look at each other face to face.

"What the fuck was up with that phone call today fatass?" Most of the anger had dissipated from the boy, and Kyle looked to be asking the question somewhat calmly, although there definitely was some agitation in his voice.

Cartman's mind was moving at the speed of light. Thousands of thoughts were literally zooming through his head._ Say something sarcastic, say something suave, say something amazing, pull your feet out of the fucking fire and say something!_

There was what seemed like a year long pause until finally the fat boy responded. "No, screw you Kyle, I'm going home." He then proceeded to walk away briskly, before Kyle could say anything more.

"Phew, you dodged a bullet on that one Eric." He mumbled under his breath as he headed for his house.

Kyle stood there for a few seconds, usually he wouldn't have let him get away like that, but this time he began to put two and two together. He shut the door and walked into the kitchen where Ike was still eating his breakfast.

The redhead came to a horrific realization. "No, no NO!" He screamed, eyes resembling saucers.

"It can't be!" He simpered, drawing attention from his brother. "What's wrong bro?" Ike asked, putting down his toast and looking genuinely concerned.

Kyle gave the Canadian boy the cold shoulder and flew up to his bedroom, slamming and locking the door behind him.

He then flipped through the sent and received messages on his phone. As he went through and read every single message that had been sent and received the previous night, he felt ill. He threw the phone down onto his bed and buried his face into his hands. "Why would Stan and Kenny, do something like this?" He whimpered, feeling so dirty even though he wasn't actually the one who sent the messages.

But that wasn't even the worst part. Cartman had the hots for him. Eric, anti -Semitic, cruel, sadistic, fatass Cartman, had the hots for HIM.

Kyle nearly wretched. The only time he had experienced nausea like this was when he was dared to eat a slug at the age of five. He couldn't get over the fact that his worst enemy was romantically attracted to him.

He thought back to their childhood, all the fights and arguments they had gotten into. Even if Cartman did have feelings for him, was that enough to justify all the horrible things he had done throughout the years? Trying to exterminate the Jews, grinding Scott Tenorman's parents into chili, trying to make a hate speech about Jews on national television when he pretended to have tourettes, and of course there were all the times where Cartman tried to murder him, or even worse, tried to get him to suck his balls.

"Why did it have to be him? Jesus, this is the guy who still sights Mein Kampf as the best book ever written." Kyle groaned, hugging his knees to his stomach.

There was a knock on his door. "Kyle it's me, open up, I want to talk." It was Ike. "Come in." Kyle said miserably.

"What's wrong? It looked as if you were having a nervous breakdown a few minutes ago." He said softly, trying to sooth his older sibling.

"I-I can't tell you Ike." He stuttered. "Why not?" Ike looked down at Kyle's red droid curiously. "Does it have something to do with your phone?" The younger boy asked, picking it up off Kyle's comforter.

"No! Give me that!" Kyle yelled, trying to grab the phone from his brother. " Why don't you want me to…" Ike's stopped mid sentence when he saw all the messages on the screen of the phone.

"Cartman I'm madly in love with you?" Ike laughed and Kyle blushed deeply in response. "You're gay for Cartman dude?"

"No way! I left my phone at Stan's the other night, and while it was there, Stan and Kenny used it to send sexual messages to Cartman while pretending to be me." The older boy huffed, furrowing his eyebrows and crossing his arms over his chest.

Ike looked puzzled. "Well then what was up with Cartman calling you earlier?"

Kyle didn't think his face could become a deeper shade of red. "Well, that's the thing, because he thought those messages were coming from me, now he's attracted to me." He stated, not wanting to look Ike in the eyes as the words tumbled out.

"That's so adorable Kyle!" The Canadian giggled. "No it's fucking not!" The Jew hissed dangerously, giving a second attempt at snatching the phone from his baby brother. "I want to see what Cartman said." Ike grinned, clearly enjoying teasing Kyle.

"You're too young for that Ike!" Kyle proclaimed, attempting pin Ike down to his bed and rip the phone out of his grubby hands.

He laughed even more. "Kyle, I'm twelve, not six, I know about this kind of stuff already." Ike flipped through the received box of the phone.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm kind of turned on right now? Wow, Cartman was probably pitching a tent when he wrote that, if you know what I mean." Ike snickered, avoiding Kyle's hands which were desperate to pry the droid from him.

"Ughghghg! Please, I don't want to hear that crap, give me the goddamn phone or else I'll tell Mom." Kyle warned.

"Go ahead and tell Mom, she'll then find out that some guy wants to bang you." Kyle growled, face flushed with both anger and humiliation at this point.

"You want to come over, maybe play a few games? Yeah dude, Cartman totally wants you." Ike said, clearly amused.

"It's not funny Ike, I despise that tub of lard." The red haired teenager snarled, finally managing to rip the phone away from Ike's grip.

"Yeah right. You totally want to do it with him, you want his fat, sweaty body all over yours."

"Ewwwwww! Ike, you're seriously going to make me throw up." Kyle exclaimed, cringing. "The fact that you're getting so upset over it, proves you really do care for him deep down."

Kyle was staring his brother down now, although the younger boy seemed unfazed. "I'm acting repulsed because the stuff you're saying is repulsive."

Ike got up off the bed and headed out to the hallway. "Whatev Kyle, just make sure that when you two finally fuck, you clean the sheets afterwards." He snickered, trudging into his own room and shutting the door.

Kyle grumbled, his brother really annoyed him sometimes. _"Maybe a hot shower will take my mind off of this whole ordeal."_ He thought. He lumbered over to the bathroom in the hall and shut and locked the door, turning on the shower and heating the water up while he stripped.

He removed his pajama shirt, followed by the pants, and then his red boxers, which he pulled down his legs and placed on one of the hooks in the bathroom.

While the water was still heating, the teen aged boy decided out of curiosity to check himself out in the mirror.

Kyle examined his chest first. He wasn't very muscular, although he didn't look scrawny either. Like the rest of his body, his chest was very pale, save for two bubblegum pink nipples that decorated the flesh there.

His eyes then lowered to his groin. His member was a fairly decent size, about seven inches when erect, and circumcised of course. Kyle's balls hung healthily beneath the organ, which was surrounded by a thatch of thick, bright red pubic hair. He then proceeded to turn around and study his behind. Very far from being fat or bubbly, his ass cheeks were firm and heart shaped, any queer would find them scrumptious

Although, surprisingly, the aspect Kyle admired most about himself were his legs. They were long, pale and curvy, perfectly fitting in with the overall feminine stature of his body.

A minute later he stepped into the shower, sighing in pleasure as the hot water cascaded down his body, making his skin turn slightly pink as a result of the temperature. Kyle didn't mind though, he adored hot showers. As he was shampooing his hair, his mind began to wander. An image quickly flashed through his head of Cartman in the shower with him, his giant body hovering over his own, as the brunette washed Kyle's hair, whilst also kissing the redhead's neck gingerly.

Kyle accidentally let a small, cute moan escape his mouth, and when he looked down he discovered he was aroused.

His cock was jutting forward and rapidly hardening even more, asking for attention. Kyle rinsed his hair and started to lather up his body with a bar of soap, continuing to fantasize.

He imagined Cartman slamming him up against the shower wall, kissing him roughly, as if his life depended on it and then massaging his back, slowly and sensually.

"Oh, oh." The teen moaned softly once more. Maybe Ike was right, maybe he really did like Cartman.

As the bar of soap travelled over his chest, Kyle imagined Cartman's big, strong hands roaming about his body tenderly, stopping every once in awhile to pinch or stroke a certain sweet spot that drove Kyle crazy.

He rinsed off his body, assuring he was thoroughly clean, and then went to work on pleasuring his cock. Kyle wrapped a hand around his throbbing manhood and began pumping it roughly, grunting in pleasure.

As he continued to pump his dick, Kyle used one of his hands to spread his cheeks apart, and he used a finger to circle and tease his entrance. He then went on to gently push the digit in.

"Ahhhhh!" That moan was undeniably audible, and he blushed, wondering if Ike would hear him.

He continued to stretch his hole a little more, and then begin sliding his finger in and out of the hot orifice. It was a painful, yet very strange and enjoyable feeling.

Kyle kept this up for several minutes, jerking his cock while fingering his ass, imagining it was Cartman taking him from behind.

Eventually the handsome male reached the point of no return, and he came hard, moaning as sperm splattered all over the shower floor and his anal muscles contracted.

He moaned as he came off the high, and spent another five minutes in the shower, cleaning his now sticky body off.

After turning off the water and drying off, Kyle realized that his little alone time in the shower confirmed his feelings while helping him come to terms with them. He really did love Cartman. Yes, He was still an overweight bigoted prick, but Kyle knew there was another side to him that was like a small child, shy and scared but sweet. Not only that, the cruel side of Eric seemed to tap into a part of Kyle's psyche that got a thrill off of a man that sadistic pleasuring him, making him feel so good.

Kyle examined himself in the mirror once again and smirked, wondering how much Cartman would like his body when he finally got to explore it.

He then went into his room and got dressed in some actual clothes. A wicked, naughty grin soon spread over his mug however, when a wonderful idea struck him. Kyle giggled quietly, looking over at his droid.

* * *

Later that night around 11:30, Cartman was sitting on the bed in his room, playing Call of Duty 4 on his 360, and cursing at other players through his headset.

His cell phone was vibrating again, although the headset he was wearing prevented him from hearing it.

Eventually though, he was killed by a grenade, resulting in him throwing his headset across the room and cursing.

"You cheating son of a bitch! Fuck you! You shouldn't be able to spam grenades like that!" In anger, he got up and shut off the system. His phone then vibrated a second time. Of course, this time he heard and picked it up. There were two new messages from Kyle that read:

**Hi, Eric are you busy? **Followed by: **Are you there?**

Cartman stopped dead in his tracks for the next few seconds, not sure whether or not to respond. What if it was another joke? What if all three of them were involved this time? And since when did Kyle call him by his first name?

He decided to respond, albeit hesitantly with: **I'm here, is this really you this time Kyle?**

Almost instantly the phone vibrated.

**Why don't you call me and find out? ;) **The message sent a shiver of pleasure up Cartman's spine.

The brunette bit his lip and dialed Kyle's number, appropriately filed under J for Jew.

"Hello?" Yeah it was definitely Kyle's voice, no doubt about it.

"What do you want?" Cartman, snapped, sounding crude and bitter, as always.

Kyle ignored him and went on. "I was thinking about you in the shower earlier Cartman, I was imagining you touching and abusing my body in the most delectable ways" He purred. The redhead was laying on his bed, with only his boxers on.

Cartman was speechless. His mouth seemed to simply hang open for what seemed like an eternity.

"Is this another joke?" He spat, his eyes narrowing suddenly.

Kyle sat up in his bed and frowned. "No, I'm being honest Cartman. I… well, I have feelings for you." He blushed, finally releasing his thoughts made him feel as if there were a thousand butterflies in his stomach.

"You mean like romantic feelings?"

"Yes."

Cartman grinned, flopping down on top of his bed and gazing at his ceiling fan. There was no way he making this up. Cartman knew Kyle wouldn't personally say something like this if someone had dared him, he had to be sincere.

"I have feelings for you as well Jew." The fat teen said seductively. "So tell me, did you like fantasizing about my hot body Kyle?"

The Jewish male felt as if his cheeks were on fire. He replied nonetheless. "Oh yes, I stroked and fingered myself to fantasies of you fucking me hard against my shower wall." Kyle said in a very suggestive tone.

"Oh fuck that's so hot Kyle." Cartman moaned, closing his brown orbs and absent mindedly letting a hand wonder down to his crotch.

"So you like that Cartman?" Kyle cooed, his green eyes shimmering with want. "Fuck yeah. Did you like playing with your ass Kyle? Do you enjoy thinking about taking dick up that hot Hebrew ass of yours?" Eric asked, unzipping his brown jeans and fishing his hand around for his tool.

"Yeah I love it." The smaller boy hummed, his cock was beginning to harden as a product of Cartman's dirty talk.

The brunette released a warm hearted laugh, his fat cock now in his hand, already crying with gooey pre cum. "I KNEW you were a slutty Jew. What else did you think about me doing to your body?"

"Well, I imagined you massaging me all over, and fondling and rubbing several areas of my flesh, especially my gentials and my ass." Kyle was already masturbating, maybe it was because he planned this phone call around eight hours ago.

"That is very hot Kyle." Cartman moaned, now also massaging his joint, palming the shaft up and down, his breathing becoming hitched in the process.

"You want to know something even hotter?" Kyle asked, his tone of voice now rivaling that of a gay porn star.

"What babe?" Eric asked, continuing to stroke himself. "I'm touching myself right now." Kyle replied in a breathy voice, his hand moving up and down his member, already nearing a climax.

"So am I, Kyle." Cartman said, who was pounding his dick at this point. "God Kyle, I want your body so bad. I want to kiss it, lick it, stroke it, fuck it. I want that creamy white flesh covered in my creamy white jiz."

"Cartman, tell me more, I'm almost there!" Kyle groaned, shutting his eyes tight and pummeling his manhood, faster and harder every second.

"I want your mouth on my cock. Mhmhmh that'd be so sexy, that cute little pink mouth of yours moving up and down my thick penis, taking it, letting your throat be fucked by its length. Would you like that Kyle? Would you like having your mouth bob up and down my cock viciously?"

The brown haired boy asked, holding the phone up to his ear for dear life as his dick was getting ready to explode.

"Fuck yeah Cartman, I would pay to give you head, I want that hot cock hammering my wet mouth, and spraying its contents down my throat." Kyle groaned, immersed in intense pleasure.

That did it. Almost simultaneously both boys burst, screaming, and bursting their spunk all over themselves and their bed sheets.

The boys spent the next couple of minutes panting, laughing nervously and blushing. The silence was crushed soon though, as Cartman piped up.

"So when am I going to get to make you cream yourself in person hot stuff?" Cartman asked, feeling so content. As much as he hated hippies, he wished he had some pot to smoke right about now.

"How about tomorrow?" Kyle asked, wiping away a swatch of red curls that were soaked with sweat.

"Tomorrow's a school night though." Cartman whined. "Well, we could wait until Friday." The red haired male replied.

"If I have to wait five days to tap that tender Jewish ass, I'll fucking slit throats." Kyle couldn't help but laugh at that remark. "Alright, then tomorrow night it is." The redhead smirked.

"Fine dude, but I'm skipping school Tuesday, because I want ALL night to explore that supple sweet body of yours Kyle." Eric purred, his voice sounding so deep and husky.

"God Cartman, that voice of yours is making me horny already." Kyle said, his voice still low. "Sorry, Kyle but you're going to have to wait." He teased in a sing song voice.

"So where are we gonna fuck, your place or mine?"

Kyle blushed at how bluntly Cartman put it. "Your house, I don't want my parents walking in on us, the last thing my Mom needs is to see her innocent son having wild anal sex."

Cartman couldn't help but chuckle gently. "Yeah, that uptight heeb would probably have a heart attack."

"Cartman!" Kyle hissed, sounding more venomous than intended. "This heeb is the one who's going to be pleasuring you tomorrow, so I would cut back on the anti- Semitic remarks."

Eric rolled his eyes, but sighed in defeat. "Alright fine, fine, jesus. Come over tomorrow around eight, my mom will probably be out of the house by then."

Kyle smiled warmly and agreed. "Okay, sounds good, see you tomorrow, fatass."

"Jew." Cartman concluded, also grinning and hanging up the phone.

The overweight brunette looked up at his poster of Heinrich Himmler on his wall and suddenly grew uncomfortable with it.

"Sorry Himmler." Eric, stated, ripping down the poster, cleaning up his semen and crashing into bed, with Kyle doing the same thing over at his house. Both of them eagerly anticipating the next day.

**Well, is Cartman finally giving up his Neo- Nazi ways? Hopefully yes. I'm not going to make him stop being a bigot though, that just ruins his character in my opinion XD. I was sort of split on keeping the rating T or changing it to M. I decided to keep it T because there wasn't any actual intercourse in this chapter, although of course there will be some later. If you review that is! Please review so Cartman and Kyle can finally get it on! Also, the next chapter will change the rating to M, so look for this story in the Mature section, thanks.**


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